I’m a Hoarder..Kind Of

Have you ever watched the show Hoarders: Buried Alive?  I periodically catch the show as I skim through the channels and, just as the rubber-necking drivers creep past a car accident, I just can’t look away.  It’s an uncomfortably frustrating show and I’m always grateful that we haven’t innovated a way to have interactive TV just yet because the unkind (read: profane) things that get said while watching this show would make Charlie Sheen blush.

I mean, seriously..WTF is this?

If you or anyone you know must enter your home looking like this:

You know it’s time to reevaluate.

There’s a funny cycle that occurs each time I catch the show – they show the mess (understatement of the century), I get disgusted and rant on and on, then they explain how it got so bad.  It’s usually a devastating and life-altering moment to blame.  And then I feel guilty and realize that this happens all the time!  Biggest Loser is another great example of how sadness, anger, frustration (and so on) manifest themselves in unhealthy ways.

Which brings me to take a look at myself and my constant battle with having SO much to do and not knowing what to do with it all.  I know what you’re thinking.  “SAButterfly, you’re unemployed.  How busy can you be??”  Well, you see, I add something new to my beloved list everyday, but I don’t cross things off as often as I seem to add them.  So my innocent list of 5 things transforms into a Beast that I cannot control.  There’s clearly a simple solution to this, but my mind becomes an overwhelming mess such that I don’t even know where to begin. My brain is ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE.  WITH EVERYTHING.  This list, these thoughts, are what I hoard.  I am officially calling myself a hoarder on the interwebs.

One month of unemployment becomes two and then before I know it, it’s been 6 months since I’ve had a job.  My thoughts are so overwhelmed with other thoughts that when I’m asked what I want to do for a living, I become paralyzed with fear (let’s be honest, when I’m asked what I have in store for the day I get the same reaction).  What do I like to do?  I think I know what I hate.  Should I be a teacher? A counselor? A psychotherapist? A doctor? A Vet? Or maybe stay in the business field but on the more creative side…Marketing? Advertising?  PR?  It’s like I have a myriad of voices just constantly talking all at once and all I want to do is yell,  “ENOUGH!!”.

About a month ago, I met with a career counselor on X’s campus to discuss my current job-less situation and had an “ENOUGH!” moment.  And it was a pretty embarrassing moment at that…she asked me “Well, what are your strengths?  Even at the jobs you’ve disliked, what did people always either compliment you on or go to you for?”  And I was dumbfounded.  “Uh, I bring a positive attitude?”  So. Awkwaaard.  I can rattle off a list of my weaknesses but I can’t come up with one strength?

Which brings me to StrengthFinders 2.0. by Tom Rath.

StrengthsFinder 2.0

An inexpensive book, coupled with an online questionnaire, that helps you narrow down what talents you possess and can hopefully develop.

Here is what my answers revealed:

Strengths

So I’m relieved that someone else could put my strengths to paper, but…what do I do with this now?  I am currently reading over the “Ideas for Action” they prescribe and really evaluating the results.  More on what these mean in the next post Smile

What are your strengths?  Have you found the career that allows you to develop and showcase these strengths?

What do you “hoard”?  Dreams? Clothes? Photos? Food? 

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About thesabutterfly

A 20-something trying to find her way..
This entry was posted in Social Anxiety Disorder and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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